Fairytale Murder
by SterlingRoze
Summary: first story ever! bad me! bad me! so, tis where harry potter is a sarcastic person and is discovered by Nagini in the forestwhen his uncle abandons him. voldenort gets his hand on him and is smirky-evil. ta da! my bad summaries


**Fairytale murder**

 _Internal thoughts_

parseltongue~

Chapter 1 : Prologue

 _My aunt and uncle would always hate me and I then, but I couldn't really understand why I was here. Why were we in the middle of a forest? Dudley, my waddling cousin never even went on a walk, and he doesn't like them either. Not just that his body, while balloon-like was certainly not full of air, except maybe his head but that's a query for another day. Back to the original question, however infuriating, still doesn't make sense. Th only (if ever) explanation was we were going for flowers, but only petunia liked flowers and she could never hurt her precious duddikins with the natural air. Petunia, my aunt is as unpleasant as can be and it definitely shows on her face. Almost like the comic books, she has a thin: face, neck, arms, legs and pretty much everything else. Her black hair, always tied up, her nose constantly scrunched like she has smelled something horrible and with a simpering smile, my aunt is complete. Well almost, all that's left is her ever-diligent cleaning, her wish to be "normal" as well as the ideal to become the perfect house wife to her husband Vernon. Vernon, you ask? Well he suffices to say is almost an exact replica of his son, a Dudley senior you could say. However, there are some differences between them, though rare they are; at least now I know stupidity can be genetic. Now, while Dudley may be a cannonball his daddy is not so, Vernon is a walrus. As well as acting like one and thus snoozing like one. He also contains other walrus-like qualities such as the weight (a walrus adult can grow up to 760 pounds) the blubber and the moustache. With a sandy blob of hair and anger that reminds me of a bull. Concludes the whole of the dursley family. But back to the original question. What the bloody hell are we doing here?! There is nothing for miles and we've been traveling for hours; Dudley's been complaining for twice as long._ Opening the door, Mr. walrus flung open mine and dragged me out of the car. _I didn't even realize we had stopped. And then… they drove away. Wait … what just happened? I mean I know they hate me, but seriously, not this much_. _Well, what the hell am I going to do now? It took hours by car and it'll take weeks to get to civilization._ "I am officially stranded, great." The sarcasm pouring out of my voice. A rustle in the bushes, alerted me to a presence, I jumped round to face the bush. ~Hows annoying filthy humans disrupting my peace. Oh well, I shall eat you instead. ~ shocked, I leaped back screaming _admittedly like a little girl_ ~no, don't eat me! ~ the snake with sales the color of malachite with eyes like knives, seeming to pierce my every movement, I stayed still trying to calm the serpent. My heart a pounding mess of nerves but then she stopped … my heavy breathing filled the clearing. minutes passed in seconds; she lifted her head towards me ~ wow, that's just fabulous darling, a speaker in this day and age, oh I'm so blessed. Oh, you look frightfully cold for your species, human. Come here, come here, and tell me you name. ~ I was stunted for a second _what. Just. Happened._ I blinked trying to shake the hallucination _did I eat a mushroom? I know, I am a freak but, maybe I have schizophrenia, did Vernon hit my head too hard?_ Breathing in and out, I came out of harry land and into the real one. ~ah, a bit of a daydreamer, are we? Hmm, now tell me of your adventures here. Few humans come here, you now. I do get terribly lonely, without the fresh blood on my tongue of human flesh. ~ she looked expectantly at me _okay… I'm creeped out_ ~well my name is Harry and I got left here by my uncle. ~ the snake gasped… ? ~oh, well my name is Nagini and my speaker, my little hatchling was almost killed by a man named Dumb-as-a-door or something like that. It was quite long ago in fact, now his just at home relaxing inside the big house while being clever and strong, he is not quite well from the experience yet. Oh, he just has the cutest dimples, lovely soft hair as well as those beautiful garnet eyes. No mate though, no matter what I say. Yes, maybe you with a little growing and dressing up could do well with him nicely. ~ I blushed bright, my face as I was sure it was the relative of a tomato. I had just sex education. I didn't want to have … sex with anyone. But she had (literally) snaked away, I immediately followed, once I realized I had stopped. Soon, she began to describe her adorable hatchling and her opinion that he should get a mate and make hatchling of his own by this time, she had finished her copious speech was filled with nicknames, annoyances, and that he should focus less on world domination and more on hatchlings. _So, when Nagini said her speaker had a big house, she meant mansion, right? I do not think a mansion with blue brick and red rose growing up the wall, really counts as a house._ But Nagini had slithered up to the porch, she pushed the door open and went inside. Quickly following, I observed the richly made house, the trimming of gold was embedded into the framework of the house and the walls were blue but with these really creepy much too life-like snakes. I almost lost Nagini, but she called me and I ran to the room she was in. pushing the door open fully, I came face to face with a lush green carpet, a fireplace also embedded with snakes and twirling swirls, black and emerald. A window was casting a soft light into the room enlightening it. The center loveseat shadow was cast upon me and I could see Nagini, their whispering to a silhouette of a head. When I entered, Nagini's head turned and the mans did too, the previous snake language almost unrecognizable my distance. ~come, child. ~ the man said, his voice almost hypnotic. As I walked closer to him, more features became apparent. His black hair falling softly to frame his face, his deep-set eyes a startling shade of red, sparkling in the light of the fire, neck twisted to face me. _Bloody hell, even I know he's (hot) beautiful and I'm prepubescent._

 **Sterling rose here and I'm so excited, first story ever and no idea where im going with it, good luck to me!**


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